I know a lot of bloggers planning their weddings do a weekly "Wedding Wednesday", but I just don't think I have that much to say on a weekly basis between now and December about the planning, so I decided to try a monthly version!
At this point we've gotten a TON of the planning done, now it's just working our butts off to pay for it all! Here's the run down of what we have done:
Venue: The Columbus Athenaeum for ceremony and reception.
Photographer: Erica Coffman of Erica Kay Photography will be doing both engagement and wedding photos for us! She's a doll and I can't wait to work with her - I found her through Instagram of all places and was IN LOVE with her pictures. We met with her just before our cruise and knew we had to have her!
Videographer - The fella's at Addvision will be capturing the moments as they happen and letting us replay some of our favorite moments after our day and for years to come with our family & friends with a trailer teaser to share and the full day on HD DVD so we may never forget our vows, our friends and family on the dance floor and the way we looked during our first dance. I debated heavily on the expense of the videographer but got a coupon for them via The Knot just before Christmas and saw it as a sign after drooling over the teaser videos for weeks online of other peoples weddings!
DJ - Columbus's own Mark Dantzer, formerly of WNCI 97.9 turned full time wedding DJ and podcast maker was on our vendor's approved list and I called him up and snatched him before the bridal shows started happening because I knew he wouldn't last. I admitted to him I listened to him on the radio growing up and was having a bit of a fan-girl moment.. no big deal.
Officiant - Damian King will be performing our ceremony! He was highly recommended on The Knot and since we don't belong to a church I wanted someone who will actually do a real ceremony and not just "I do", "I do" and it's over in 5 seconds. Damian performs all types of weddings (multi-faith, non-denominational, etc) and I'm excited to have his experience and enthusiasm on our day. We met with him and felt like old friends.
THE Dress! - As you all know, I said Yes! to the dress just a few weeks ago and went shopping in the Bridal District of Reading, Ohio, a suburb of Cincinnati. I went to Bridal and Formal and had a fabulous experience.
Hair/Makeup - One of my bridesmaid's sister does hair, so she agreed to come to our hotel to do our hair! We're working with January Adams, a licensed aesthetician, who will come to the hotel also for our makeup. Easy peasy!
We've met with our coordinator at the Athenaeum, Gina, and we've picked our bar selections, our decor, and colors. She's going to be incredibly helpful and has been working and coordinating weddings at the Athenaeum for over 8 years. They do all the set up, tear down, in-house catering, and just make it all work. I'm so glad we went with them for the fact that I don't want my family, friends, and bridal party rushing around to set things up and have everyone stressing out on that day. My goal is to relax, do as little as possible, and enjoy the day to the fullest and soak up every detail.
What's left? Well, we need to choose the cake and flowers (also from the vendor list, so not high priority to find someone, but the cake is what Kyle is looking forward to most!), honeymoon location, registries, take engagement photos and make our save the date's and invitations.
The next thing on our To Do list is choose our Honeymoon location! Since it will be mid-December, we think it would be best to do someplace more tropical but we're not big "sit on the beach" kind of people since I get so sunburnt! I want to be warm but have options of things to do! We're thinking of an all-inclusive somewhere (Jamaica? Punta Cana?) or a cruise but would love to go to Hawaii but can't stand the thought of being on a plane for a whole day each way of travel. Suggestions are welcome!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Monday, March 3, 2014
My second Challenge!
After I got back from Orlando, I decided on doing my second Advocare 24 day challenge and really wanted to get others involved too. I felt good when I came back and we had gotten good workouts in while I was gone but the scale said otherwise and I knew Operation Wedding Dress was ON.
So I put it out there to my friends and family on my personal Facebook and to my followers on Instagram and my Training Lindsay page on FB as well that I was doing a challenge and looking for 10 people to do it with me for a chance at a $250 CASH prize! I was excited for others to be excited about it and I currently have 6 people in the group! I am taking people who order through my site until March 9th to be considered for the prize and a few people have already started - one even on a Friday! Boom! You know, you don't always have to make changes on a Monday :)
So what do you have to do? Order your 24 day Challenge kit here -https://www.advocare.com/130729981 and I'll send you the "rules" and another cute free-bee to use to help along the way! Have questions? E-mail me at LMeekerRN@gmail.com and we can chat about it. I weighed myself on day 5 (yesterday) and was already down 5 pounds! I'm sticking to the plan and know I'll reach my goal of being in the 180's by the end of my challenge!
So I put it out there to my friends and family on my personal Facebook and to my followers on Instagram and my Training Lindsay page on FB as well that I was doing a challenge and looking for 10 people to do it with me for a chance at a $250 CASH prize! I was excited for others to be excited about it and I currently have 6 people in the group! I am taking people who order through my site until March 9th to be considered for the prize and a few people have already started - one even on a Friday! Boom! You know, you don't always have to make changes on a Monday :)
So what do you have to do? Order your 24 day Challenge kit here -https://www.advocare.com/130729981 and I'll send you the "rules" and another cute free-bee to use to help along the way! Have questions? E-mail me at LMeekerRN@gmail.com and we can chat about it. I weighed myself on day 5 (yesterday) and was already down 5 pounds! I'm sticking to the plan and know I'll reach my goal of being in the 180's by the end of my challenge!
Sunday, March 2, 2014
My love of Title Boxing & Orlando.
Holy shoot guys, it's been far too long since you've heard from me. So much has happened that I don't even know where to start.
I've been meaning to write for 2 weeks about my Title Boxing classes, then about my trip to Orlando, now about my second 24 day challenge and group that I've got going on AND my new position as a Chloe + Isabel merchandiser AND the fact that my first 13.1 of the year is 13 days away. Phew.
One. Thing. At. A. Time.
So.. Title Boxing! Wow.. the best "power hour" I've ever been to! Not that I was ever a big drinker but in this power hour, you can burn 1,000 calories. I was sold.
Your "First Shot" is free so I picked a 6AM class on Valentine's day and I was so glad I did! The instructor was super nice and even helped me wrap my hands and got me some gloves to use. The first 15 minutes are a warm up (but it was more like a total body workout! Running laps around the rows of bags with intermittent burpees, squats, lunges, mountain climbers, etc) followed by 30 minutes of boxing on the big 100 pound hanging bags. They do 8 rounds with breaks between to make up that 30 minute session. The last 15 minutes are cool down and core work. I've got the punching part down and the squats and running are no problem, but my core is WEAK. Planks and side planks and flutter kicking let me know that. Phew! My abs were sore for that whole weekend and then I went back on Monday for more, this time sporting my new pink gloves and scarlet and grey wraps. I love the early morning classes offered, one location even offers a 5AM class and they also have kickboxing classes. With one membership you can go to any location and there are several around here plus a few in Columbus when I go home to visit (Carrie - you're coming with me!).
I'm hoping to make it to at least one of these classes a week and ideally on my days off start with a morning class and get my Zumba on in the evening. In a perfect world this would work out all the time but we'll see - it's my intention to get there!
I made it to boxing in the morning and Zumba at night on the Monday before I left for Florida last week so I was happy getting the week off on a good foot. I attended the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia's Cardiology 2014 conference at the Disney Yacht Club & Beach Resort with a lot of other incredibly intelligent people working hard to better care for babies, children, and now adults who were born with congenital heart disease. I have the coolest job.
The only negative was trying to get medical professionals to sit through several hours of lectures and presentations. Some were excellent and very pertinent to my job but I'm used to being on my feet for 12+ hours a day and some of us got a bit stir crazy. I did workout 3/5 days we were gone and even did my first Crossfit workout (called a WOD) with two of the other girls. They also had amazing treadmills in the gym that allowed me to run through the trails in other countries virtually, however, it was hotter inside that gym than it was outside! There was a loop outside that made up the Boardwalk area that was 0.8 miles around and there were lots of people out running on that too. The Disney Princess Half Marathon was last weekend and I was lucky enough to meet 5 followers who recognized me while I was out and about on Disney property and in the hotel. You guys are awesome! I wish I had run the race and did have a possible opportunity but there were no transfers for registrations that weren't used. Bummer!
Overall it was a great week with some great ladies, we learned a lot, had some great meals, got some workouts in, and I don't think I've drank that much coffee in my whole life as I did last week but who's counting? :) The 80 degree weather was even much appreciated by my very pale skin (that did get sunburnt sitting outside for lunch) after this horrid winter we've had here in Ohio.
Did you run the Princess Half marathon? What did you think? Would you recommend a RunDisney experience? Have you ever gone boxing before? Did you enjoy it?
I've been meaning to write for 2 weeks about my Title Boxing classes, then about my trip to Orlando, now about my second 24 day challenge and group that I've got going on AND my new position as a Chloe + Isabel merchandiser AND the fact that my first 13.1 of the year is 13 days away. Phew.
One. Thing. At. A. Time.
So.. Title Boxing! Wow.. the best "power hour" I've ever been to! Not that I was ever a big drinker but in this power hour, you can burn 1,000 calories. I was sold.
Your "First Shot" is free so I picked a 6AM class on Valentine's day and I was so glad I did! The instructor was super nice and even helped me wrap my hands and got me some gloves to use. The first 15 minutes are a warm up (but it was more like a total body workout! Running laps around the rows of bags with intermittent burpees, squats, lunges, mountain climbers, etc) followed by 30 minutes of boxing on the big 100 pound hanging bags. They do 8 rounds with breaks between to make up that 30 minute session. The last 15 minutes are cool down and core work. I've got the punching part down and the squats and running are no problem, but my core is WEAK. Planks and side planks and flutter kicking let me know that. Phew! My abs were sore for that whole weekend and then I went back on Monday for more, this time sporting my new pink gloves and scarlet and grey wraps. I love the early morning classes offered, one location even offers a 5AM class and they also have kickboxing classes. With one membership you can go to any location and there are several around here plus a few in Columbus when I go home to visit (Carrie - you're coming with me!).
I'm hoping to make it to at least one of these classes a week and ideally on my days off start with a morning class and get my Zumba on in the evening. In a perfect world this would work out all the time but we'll see - it's my intention to get there!
I made it to boxing in the morning and Zumba at night on the Monday before I left for Florida last week so I was happy getting the week off on a good foot. I attended the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia's Cardiology 2014 conference at the Disney Yacht Club & Beach Resort with a lot of other incredibly intelligent people working hard to better care for babies, children, and now adults who were born with congenital heart disease. I have the coolest job.
The only negative was trying to get medical professionals to sit through several hours of lectures and presentations. Some were excellent and very pertinent to my job but I'm used to being on my feet for 12+ hours a day and some of us got a bit stir crazy. I did workout 3/5 days we were gone and even did my first Crossfit workout (called a WOD) with two of the other girls. They also had amazing treadmills in the gym that allowed me to run through the trails in other countries virtually, however, it was hotter inside that gym than it was outside! There was a loop outside that made up the Boardwalk area that was 0.8 miles around and there were lots of people out running on that too. The Disney Princess Half Marathon was last weekend and I was lucky enough to meet 5 followers who recognized me while I was out and about on Disney property and in the hotel. You guys are awesome! I wish I had run the race and did have a possible opportunity but there were no transfers for registrations that weren't used. Bummer!
Overall it was a great week with some great ladies, we learned a lot, had some great meals, got some workouts in, and I don't think I've drank that much coffee in my whole life as I did last week but who's counting? :) The 80 degree weather was even much appreciated by my very pale skin (that did get sunburnt sitting outside for lunch) after this horrid winter we've had here in Ohio.
Did you run the Princess Half marathon? What did you think? Would you recommend a RunDisney experience? Have you ever gone boxing before? Did you enjoy it?
Friday, February 21, 2014
I said "yes" to the dress!
The day finally came.
(No, this isn't what I'm wearing, it was $700!)
I'm totally that girl who has been planning her wedding since I was very young. I had it all planned out, I just needed to snag a dude who had good taste in jewelry. Luckily, I did that, and last weekend it came time to dress shop for THE dress!
I had a dress in mind since I was 17 that I saw online at David's Bridal. I was in a 3 year relationship from high school into college and looked online all the time for dresses and venues. When Pinterest came around, my obsession quickly (and easily, thanks Pinterest!) grew to have my whole day planned before I had any bling on my left hand. Then....someone wore MY dress. How dare them!
Fast forward to June 2008 and I met my Kyle. I've said it once and I'll say it a million times in our life - I knew he was "the one" at our first kiss (insert "ewww's" here). I was done for...head over heels, and I didn't care how long I had to wait, I knew I'd be his wife one day. 5 long years later of dating, moving a million times, him graduating and moving 2 hours away, me graduating and moving 2 hours away with him and life finally settling down - he got me the most perfect ring and made me feel everything I was supposed to feel in that moment where someone wants to very publically declare their love and tell the world they want to spend their whole life with you.
After the shock wore off and I stopped staring at my hand my thoughts turned to venue and the dress that would be most appropriate for our location. I always pictured a huge, tulle, sparkling, bedazzled cupcake dress. However, with the weight I've lost I realized these would just swallow my new shape and at the same time I was terrified of a fitted dress and if I'd even be able to get into a sample size at all.
All fears aside and notions of what I thought I wanted out the window, my entourage and I met up last Saturday morning in the Bridal District in a suburb of Cincinnati named Reading (also the hometown of my MOH!) at a shop called Bridal & Formal. I knew my sister had gotten her dress there along with pretty much everyone else in Cincinnati and heard they had a large selection of gowns. I brought along my step-mom, grandma, sister, MOH and one of my two other bridesmaids was also able to be there with me.
They had a trunk show going on where designers send some of their new line for a short time, and my dress actually came from this showing! My lucky day!
I had heard about how they had all of these dresses but the customer service wasn't great and you got dressed in a big open room with everyone else trying on dresses at the same time and I was a little scepticle going into the appointment. We arrived and met my consultant, Maura, and she was the sweetest! I told her my budget and what I thought I wanted but that I was open to whatever was going to look best on me. My girls and I took to the racks and pulled a few gowns. I had 2 pictures of dresses I knew they had at the store and was disappointed that they did not have either dress available to try on. Plan 2 was just to go with the flow, and that's what I did.
The consultant gave me everything I asked for and the second dress I tried on of the 8 or 9 ended up being the one I chose! I got "jacked up" as they say on the show Say Yes to the Dress, got on the platform and utilized the web cam to show and get my mom's approval as well. I said when I had it on the first time that it was something my Aunt Lisa would have chosen. In January we remembered her on the 10th anniversary of her death and a few weeks before getting engaged my grandma actually mentioned that when it was time to go dress shopping one day that she would really like to come with me as she never got to have the experience with Lisa. I wouldn't have had it any other way and our shopping day fell on what would have been Lisa's 54th birthday. We all agreed we felt her with us and there was no other explanation for how I came upon that dress other than she was there.
No, I didn't cry, and no, neither did my group, but I had my "bridal moment" where I knew it was the dress for me. I can't wait to wear it - 294 days to go!
Friday, February 7, 2014
I'm so over winter.
This whole thing about being "in training" over the winter… it stinks. All I want to do is put in my headphones and take off out the door running but it's not as simple as that. It's currently -1 here in Ohio and it's a far cry from the random 55 degree day last weekend that I did get to run out the door. Believe me, I took advantage of that day knowing we had a snow storm coming this week. We got another 4 inches of snow and 1/2" layer of ice to cover it overnight Tuesday into Wednesday morning. Yuck.
I've got the Heart Mini half marathon coming up in 5 weeks and haven't run outside at all since December before this last weekends run. I'm just glad I dropped back to the half for the Flying Pig because the tougher training schedule plus this terrible winter means double digit treadmill miles for multiple weeks and that is just brutal.
So what else has been going on? I donated all the bag of clothes this week! I took them to Goodwill and packed two carts full. It feels good to donate and I hope someone is thrilled to see clothes with tags on them. Nothing better than finding a good deal on some brand new or hardly worn clothes!
I'm also going to a pediatric cardiology conference at Disney's Yacht and Beach Club resort with some of my coworkers in 2 weeks! I was excited to be chosen to go and hope to learn a lot to bring back to my unit over the 5 days I'm there. Plus, getting away from this cold will be awesome!
I'm going to another conference in April for a weekend but it's for a different reason, one near and dear to my heart. I was contacted a few weeks ago by the chairs of the Huntington's Disease Youth Organization to see if I was interested in being an ambassador and educator in my area for the young people who live with HD in their lives. I was thrilled to be asked and of course, accepted! I will be headed to Minneapolis and we won't talk about how the Mall of America is about a mile away :)
Lastly - next weekend I'm going DRESS SHOPPING! I haven't lost the weight I wanted to before trying on dresses but I'm much more confident going in knowing I'll have options to try on and I'm excited to spend the day with my family and two of my girls and hopefully will say yes to the dress! I've obsessed over the show for years and I'm hoping to have my "bridal" moment.
That about wraps things up for me! Next week with it being Valentine's day, dress shopping day, and Kyle's birthday (my brother-in-law's too! They share the same day!) followed by leaving for the cardiology conference and having 13 whole days off will be a nice break and lots of fun. Much needed after the way the year has started.
Did you have the "bridal" moment? Ever have to train while out of town?
I've got the Heart Mini half marathon coming up in 5 weeks and haven't run outside at all since December before this last weekends run. I'm just glad I dropped back to the half for the Flying Pig because the tougher training schedule plus this terrible winter means double digit treadmill miles for multiple weeks and that is just brutal.
So what else has been going on? I donated all the bag of clothes this week! I took them to Goodwill and packed two carts full. It feels good to donate and I hope someone is thrilled to see clothes with tags on them. Nothing better than finding a good deal on some brand new or hardly worn clothes!
I'm also going to a pediatric cardiology conference at Disney's Yacht and Beach Club resort with some of my coworkers in 2 weeks! I was excited to be chosen to go and hope to learn a lot to bring back to my unit over the 5 days I'm there. Plus, getting away from this cold will be awesome!
I'm going to another conference in April for a weekend but it's for a different reason, one near and dear to my heart. I was contacted a few weeks ago by the chairs of the Huntington's Disease Youth Organization to see if I was interested in being an ambassador and educator in my area for the young people who live with HD in their lives. I was thrilled to be asked and of course, accepted! I will be headed to Minneapolis and we won't talk about how the Mall of America is about a mile away :)
Lastly - next weekend I'm going DRESS SHOPPING! I haven't lost the weight I wanted to before trying on dresses but I'm much more confident going in knowing I'll have options to try on and I'm excited to spend the day with my family and two of my girls and hopefully will say yes to the dress! I've obsessed over the show for years and I'm hoping to have my "bridal" moment.
That about wraps things up for me! Next week with it being Valentine's day, dress shopping day, and Kyle's birthday (my brother-in-law's too! They share the same day!) followed by leaving for the cardiology conference and having 13 whole days off will be a nice break and lots of fun. Much needed after the way the year has started.
Did you have the "bridal" moment? Ever have to train while out of town?
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
2014 (un)official race schedule!
Now that we're into February and I'm totally feeling this "year of the half marathon", I decided on my race schedule a few weeks ago and wanted to share!
Now... that being said… 5 of the 9 things I want to do are on weekends I work. I only work every 3rd weekend so that's pretty impressive that it worked out like that. I got one covered already and another I work Saturday night shift and could theoretically run a half that morning and work that night, I've done it before in training for the marathon last summer. Anywho… here's my events for 2014!
March 16 - Heart Mini Half Marathon (Cincinnati, OH)
April 6 - ORRRC Half Marathon (Xenia, OH) - I got invited to a conference this weekend so my already paid for registration is out the window - I'm excited about the conference though!
May 4 - Cincinnati Flying Pig Half Marathon (Cincinnati, OH)
June 29 - Mason Sprint Triathlon (Mason, OH)
August 24 - Emerald City Half Marathon (Dublin, OH)
September 20 - Air Force Half Marathon (Dayton, OH)
October 4 - Run Like A Girl Half Marathon (Columbus, OH)
October 19 - Columbus Marathon Half (Columbus, OH)
November 1 - Mason Half Marathon (Mason, OH)
I've officially registered for 4 of these so far and am waiting to do the rest as paychecks become available and hopefully can trade the weekends I'm supposed to work! It's going to be a busy race season but I'm excited because doing a race every 3-5 weeks means once I get to my high mileage in a few weeks that it won't be too bad to maintain my distance and hopefully can set many PR's this year! That, and my first sprint triathlon will be an exciting time too just 8 weeks after the Pig and I have an 8 week training schedule that will be a nice change of pace in the middle of all these 13.1's. It'll make the summer and fall go by quickly and that means the wedding will be here before I know it and I'll be at my best shape! Getting excited!
Will I see any of you at these races?!
Now... that being said… 5 of the 9 things I want to do are on weekends I work. I only work every 3rd weekend so that's pretty impressive that it worked out like that. I got one covered already and another I work Saturday night shift and could theoretically run a half that morning and work that night, I've done it before in training for the marathon last summer. Anywho… here's my events for 2014!
March 16 - Heart Mini Half Marathon (Cincinnati, OH)
April 6 - ORRRC Half Marathon (Xenia, OH) - I got invited to a conference this weekend so my already paid for registration is out the window - I'm excited about the conference though!
May 4 - Cincinnati Flying Pig Half Marathon (Cincinnati, OH)
June 29 - Mason Sprint Triathlon (Mason, OH)
August 24 - Emerald City Half Marathon (Dublin, OH)
September 20 - Air Force Half Marathon (Dayton, OH)
October 4 - Run Like A Girl Half Marathon (Columbus, OH)
October 19 - Columbus Marathon Half (Columbus, OH)
November 1 - Mason Half Marathon (Mason, OH)
I've officially registered for 4 of these so far and am waiting to do the rest as paychecks become available and hopefully can trade the weekends I'm supposed to work! It's going to be a busy race season but I'm excited because doing a race every 3-5 weeks means once I get to my high mileage in a few weeks that it won't be too bad to maintain my distance and hopefully can set many PR's this year! That, and my first sprint triathlon will be an exciting time too just 8 weeks after the Pig and I have an 8 week training schedule that will be a nice change of pace in the middle of all these 13.1's. It'll make the summer and fall go by quickly and that means the wedding will be here before I know it and I'll be at my best shape! Getting excited!
Will I see any of you at these races?!
Sunday, February 2, 2014
My closet is a lot different now.
If you're anything like me, I'm pretty particular about hangers. They have to face a certain way and I like the ones that are pink, plastic, and have the inserts for sleeveless shirts. I get mine at Target typically and over the last few months all I've done is buy hangers and clothes that now fit me. My pants were constantly falling down, my "flowy" shirts made me look like I was wearing a garbage bag, and not to mention my workout clothes were literally sitting in clean piles on my closet floor because I had no where to put them all.
I kept buying hangers as I was slowly collecting these new things that now fit and would run out constantly. Kyle kept saying to go through my clothes and get rid of everything I wasn't wearing anymore. I don't know why I kept avoiding it - okay...except I do. I have been scared ever since day 1 of this journey that I would regain every ounce of weight I had lost along the way. I'd see the scale at 245 pounds again and be pissed at myself for not keeping anything to wear because now I'd have to go re-buy my "fat" clothes, and I did NOT want to do that. So I kept putting it off, putting it off, putting it off…. then my OCD kicked in and the mess that was my closet and pretty much all of my personal space was more than I could handle. I decided today was the day to say goodbye to my former self and move on.
Insert the biggest breath of fresh air your lungs can inhale. Now exhale.
I was overwhelmed by the task and I have quite the closet. I mean, I have a walk-in and a full 4 drawer dresser PLUS had workout gear in a hanging thing from my closet rack that is meant for shoes that was overflowing, plus the piles of clothes on the floor that I talked about a moment ago. Shoes… I'll start with shoes. So I packed up my old shoes I no longer wear (goodbye, Crocs!… and old running shoes. Tear. I don't miss those men's wide shoes but they were where I started… pink laces and all. I wanted to donate to KindRunner but they didn't have my shoe to buy from them and return my old pair with, sad!) and started there. Next - on to dresses and long sleeves. I kept my one comparison dress - the purple one shoulder number - just for future pictures. Yep, I did. I literally got rid of more dresses that I haven't worn in over 2 years either because they were down right ugly or were too big. Dresses I bought for vacation this year that I never wore because they were too big by the time vacation came around went with tags on them. My wallet cried a little, but I'm happy knowing when they are donated this week someone will have something really cute to wear this summer. The rest of my shirts I decided if they were XXL, I hadn't worn it in over a year, or anything from Lane Bryant, it was time to go. Mentally, letting go of my Lane Bryant stuff was as liberating as cutting up the credit card I had for that store. It was a very safe place for me and I was usually always the smallest size or next one up from smallest when I shopped there and it made me feel good. I wasn't THAT big, but I was. I nicknamed it "Lane Giant" and laughed about it at the time. I'm glad the store exists to give plus size women a chance to have some fashionable choices but I'm glad that part of my life is over.
10 bags and a few hanging dresses make up my former self. 10 bags of sadness. 10 bags of hiding from the truth. 10 bags of plus size.
I stood in the pile of clothes before I bagged them and began sobbing. I was literally mourning the loss of myself. But really, I hadn't lost myself - I found myself. In the sea of XXL, of 20/22 jeans I literally cleansed myself of feeling like I wasn't good enough to be healthy or a "normal" size. I always thought I would be a big girl, my family is made up of big people, so that's who I was supposed to be too.
I thought about my run yesterday. I ran outside on February 1st in a t-shirt. Minus pushing a bit for the last 5 minutes, I comfortably ran 5.33 miles without a thought. I woke up and was excited to go to Zumba. I thought about my Weight Watchers weigh in this week and was excited to continue my Tuesday meeting followed by Zumba after on Tuesday night. Those were my thoughts - not anything my former self would have been excited about. I am forever changed and I think that alone is amazing. I decided to change my life, and I have. I am a very different person than I was a year ago and I can't thank myself enough for that. But I will - in new gym clothes, my next pair of running shoes, the FitBit on my wrist, and the healthy lunch I have planned for tomorrow.
Now that I've done the great purge once, I think next time will be easier. More of a celebration than the mourning. Next time I'll get rid of more things and likely some of my current go-to favorites as they get too big. I am continuously a work in progress.
Have you gotten rid of all the things you couldn't wear anymore? Was it a happy time or a sad time? What's been the hardest part after losing weight for you?
I kept buying hangers as I was slowly collecting these new things that now fit and would run out constantly. Kyle kept saying to go through my clothes and get rid of everything I wasn't wearing anymore. I don't know why I kept avoiding it - okay...except I do. I have been scared ever since day 1 of this journey that I would regain every ounce of weight I had lost along the way. I'd see the scale at 245 pounds again and be pissed at myself for not keeping anything to wear because now I'd have to go re-buy my "fat" clothes, and I did NOT want to do that. So I kept putting it off, putting it off, putting it off…. then my OCD kicked in and the mess that was my closet and pretty much all of my personal space was more than I could handle. I decided today was the day to say goodbye to my former self and move on.
Insert the biggest breath of fresh air your lungs can inhale. Now exhale.
I was overwhelmed by the task and I have quite the closet. I mean, I have a walk-in and a full 4 drawer dresser PLUS had workout gear in a hanging thing from my closet rack that is meant for shoes that was overflowing, plus the piles of clothes on the floor that I talked about a moment ago. Shoes… I'll start with shoes. So I packed up my old shoes I no longer wear (goodbye, Crocs!… and old running shoes. Tear. I don't miss those men's wide shoes but they were where I started… pink laces and all. I wanted to donate to KindRunner but they didn't have my shoe to buy from them and return my old pair with, sad!) and started there. Next - on to dresses and long sleeves. I kept my one comparison dress - the purple one shoulder number - just for future pictures. Yep, I did. I literally got rid of more dresses that I haven't worn in over 2 years either because they were down right ugly or were too big. Dresses I bought for vacation this year that I never wore because they were too big by the time vacation came around went with tags on them. My wallet cried a little, but I'm happy knowing when they are donated this week someone will have something really cute to wear this summer. The rest of my shirts I decided if they were XXL, I hadn't worn it in over a year, or anything from Lane Bryant, it was time to go. Mentally, letting go of my Lane Bryant stuff was as liberating as cutting up the credit card I had for that store. It was a very safe place for me and I was usually always the smallest size or next one up from smallest when I shopped there and it made me feel good. I wasn't THAT big, but I was. I nicknamed it "Lane Giant" and laughed about it at the time. I'm glad the store exists to give plus size women a chance to have some fashionable choices but I'm glad that part of my life is over.
10 bags and a few hanging dresses make up my former self. 10 bags of sadness. 10 bags of hiding from the truth. 10 bags of plus size.
I stood in the pile of clothes before I bagged them and began sobbing. I was literally mourning the loss of myself. But really, I hadn't lost myself - I found myself. In the sea of XXL, of 20/22 jeans I literally cleansed myself of feeling like I wasn't good enough to be healthy or a "normal" size. I always thought I would be a big girl, my family is made up of big people, so that's who I was supposed to be too.
I thought about my run yesterday. I ran outside on February 1st in a t-shirt. Minus pushing a bit for the last 5 minutes, I comfortably ran 5.33 miles without a thought. I woke up and was excited to go to Zumba. I thought about my Weight Watchers weigh in this week and was excited to continue my Tuesday meeting followed by Zumba after on Tuesday night. Those were my thoughts - not anything my former self would have been excited about. I am forever changed and I think that alone is amazing. I decided to change my life, and I have. I am a very different person than I was a year ago and I can't thank myself enough for that. But I will - in new gym clothes, my next pair of running shoes, the FitBit on my wrist, and the healthy lunch I have planned for tomorrow.
Now that I've done the great purge once, I think next time will be easier. More of a celebration than the mourning. Next time I'll get rid of more things and likely some of my current go-to favorites as they get too big. I am continuously a work in progress.
Have you gotten rid of all the things you couldn't wear anymore? Was it a happy time or a sad time? What's been the hardest part after losing weight for you?
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