I'm on the quirky "lets name a challenge/goal/aspiration after the month" kick, so here we are. I've been wishy-washy about my progress or lack there of. About my eating habits, how busy I am and will continue to be, realistic expectations, and I could go on and on. Up until today, I hadn't exercised in any form except for walking the dog around our apartment complex. I hadn't ran, I hadn't been to Zumba or lifted a weight. I had been eating donut holes, candy, and pizza. I had gone WAY off the deep end and for what? I'd been killing myself these last 22 months to lose weight, maintain my losses, run all the races, and look damn good in a wedding dress.
I'm calling to schedule my dress fitting appointments and I'm more bloated than I've ever been due to my lack of water intake and my poor diet choices. My dress will still fit but won't need to be taken in as much as planned. I have had the whole year to make progress and for every one stop forward I took, I took 2, 3 and right now I'd even say 12 steps back to account for the 12 pounds I've gained from my summer lowest of my adult life.
I have bridal showers and my bachelorette party coming up. There will be treats and drinks to be had and I refuse to not let myself enjoy some of these most exciting times and memories of my life. I refuse to starve and I refuse to eat chicken and protein shakes multiple times a day. There's not a great quick fix, and lets be honest, quick fixes don't work anyway. I want to and I will wear the bikini I bought for my honeymoon. I will also wear the one piece. I will feel confident and I will enjoy myself. Life is short and I have a lot of time to hit a number goal. I have days I look in the mirror and cringe, but I also have days I look in the mirror and appreciate the hard work I've already done. I did something for myself recently that I'm so thankful for, and while I can't elaborate on it right now, I will talk about it at a later date. This thing I did will forever go down in history as something I never thought I would do, but did it anyway, and I was comfortable and confident and I walked out more comfortable in my own skin and confident in the body I carry than ever. I am real, I have flaws, I am perfectly imperfect. I am always a work in progress but I know I am mentally in a better place than I have been in a long time.
So, this November, I choose to do away with the excuses. I choose to be happy and feel good without killing myself. I choose to make good decisions 95% of the time and enjoy the special moments and events this month with my family and friends before I am a married lady. No excuses, only planned events and treats with moderate living in between. With movement and activity and time for myself. With excitement and new adventures ahead, I am no longer afraid or ashamed. I ban negativity and negative self-talk. I choose to love myself. I choose to give up all my excuses and move forward. Who's with me?