Yep, you read that right. As most of you already know from my excessiveness last week on Wednesday when it happened - I hit Onederland that day. I hopped on the scale and pumped my arms Rocky style when I read the scale: 199.0.
I had been thinking over the last several weeks what it would feel like. I couldn't recall exactly when I last saw a 1 to start my weight but I remember as a sophomore in high school being 175 and feeling fat and upset about it. Next thing I remember is being a college freshman in 2005 weighing in somewhere between 215-220. I don't really know when I tipped the next manual scale bar over to the 200 mark but even if it was sometime in 2005 that means it's been at least 8 years.
I was home by myself that morning as Kyle had already left for work so I had to settle for turning on some booty-shaking music and dancing with Penny (the dog) in the living room. I. Had. Done. It. I was elated... over the moon even. I had so many positive "likes" and comments between my Facebook Training Lindsay page and Instagram that I didn't know what to do with myself. So many others who had done the same thing as me or wanting so desperately to get there as I had looking at me as inspiration. Me. The thought of that alone was overwhelming. I sobbed over my protein shake between drinks and felt this great catharsis of emotion come out. The last several months and all the pain, sweat and time put into all of this had paid off.
Knowing I was just shy of my 50 pound loss that I've promised myself a tattoo for, I was getting excited about that. Looking around for names and places locally to get my ink done was the next task. I started losing my excitement about the whole Onederland business and feeling kind of empty about it. Okay. I'm here. I know this isn't my end goal but... but.... I sort of lost momentum. I ate mostly by plan, kept my macros together and fought a really yucky blister and some plantar fasciitis the rest of the week. I was scared for the weekend's half marathon because my foot was aching. I worked Wednesday and Thursday nights and I was running around like a crazy person and I was limping out of the hospital Friday morning. Oh crap. I didn't do my 4 mile run Thursday needing the rest, I went to bed Friday morning, got up at 1:15 for a hair appointment for a cut at 2pm and met Kyle at home after. He got a quick nap in and then we headed out for my cheat meal of pizza and a Redbox movie to bring home. I scarfed down that pizza and fell asleep 45 minutes into Life of Pi (what I saw was really good and Kyle liked it a lot - I'll have to try again!) and woke up at 8pm when it was over and went straight to bed. On a Friday night.
I slept in total 14 hours. I was going to get a Zumba class in Saturday morning before I drove to Columbus for my favorite bride-to-be, Amanda's, shower that we were throwing for her. I didn't do it as my foot was still a little sore and decided to just sleep til 8 and go from there. The shower was beautiful thanks to Miss Karley and I stopped by the Columbus Running Company on my way out of town to look into something for the blister that just wouldn't quit. I ended up with Injinji toe socks to wear for the half Sunday to see if that would help my cause. I drove home, Kyle had made my usual pasta dinner before a race meal to go along with my cupcake and fruit I had at the shower. Or maybe to go with the chicken fingers I had on the way. Or the Frosty on the ride home. NO GOOD. Saturday was a terrible food day. I didn't have to make those choices. I did them and I'm owning up to it. I felt cute in a dress I picked up from Target on the way (I was going to be severely underdressed for the occasion otherwise) and got so many gracious complements on how I was looking and how cute the dress was but I was cringing knowing what I had just eaten. Yes, I've spent this entire year working very hard. But, I was feeling lousy and mad at myself for going so far off track that whole day I could hardly accept the nice things people were saying. I've been having a few extra carbs the day or two before my long runs but it was just plain overboard. Carrie showed up late Saturday night and we kind of went over race day plans and called it a night.
I kept waking up Sunday morning like those nights before clinicals in school when you knew you just couldn't be late. I had literally just run this distance the week before but I think a crowd and the medal and the finish line were psyching me up a little. We didn't get our packets picked up Saturday so we were getting them the morning of the race. I was out of bed at 5AM and we weren't running til 7:30 and somehow I was starving after the previous days binge. I have found that not eating anything is best for me when I do my long runs but I decided I had enough time to eat a rice cake with peanut butter to hold me over. We got ready and headed out around 6:20.
This race, the Little Miami Half Marathon and 10K had greatly increased in numbers from the previous year and I was worried about parking because the pre-race information said we would just be parking in the neighborhood around the race site. The course was a small loop through town then out and back on the Little Miami bike path. There were probably 600-700 people between the two events I would guess and not enough bathrooms at the start. A small band was playing some music and there was a decent line for packet pick up. We were in that line and I reeeeeally needed to pee and the lines for the bathroom were getting longer and longer as we waited. When we got our stuff I told Carrie I'd take our extra stuff to the car so I could grab my fuel belt and iPhone arm band(I saw Kendra on the way and I got a great big hug! yay!) and couldn't wait anymore once I got there. We parked at a school and the parking lot backed up to some trees and I looked around, made sure no one was watching, and in true runner form I just did my business behind a random strangers car. Great. So that's taken care of, I meet Carrie back in the bathroom line and she was almost to the front so I got in with her and just went again for good measure. I met another Instagrammer - Kelly in the bathroom of all places and that was another thing I really wanted to do yesterday so I was super glad we met!
Carrie and I headed down a few blocks to the starting area and Kendra met us there since we were the only other people she knew which was fine with me. We chatted a bit waiting for the start and then off we went. I knew she ran a lot faster than me and warned her of that and wished her a good race. Carrie and I started off strong with our first mile at 11:52. I was in the 11 min/mile range for 4 of the miles with 11:38 being my best. Around mile 6 we FINALLY saw a port-a-potty and I had to make a quick pit stop. Fuel belt on, fuel belt off and getting back on the trail cost me some time. Last week I could pause the time when I went in for my potty break but not this week! When my heart rate goes up to 180 I know I need to slow down so we took 2 brief walking breaks to slow my rate back down between miles 6-8. Still kept a good pace and overall I'd say we only walked a half of a mile in total between the two. Miles 8 and on I ran the whole way. Carrie convinced me to slow my pace down a bit, not worry about my finish time but more about finishing strong and running instead of this crazy "run til my heart rate is too high so then I have to walk" business. I was frustrated by it but knew she was right. As usual. We finished with our last few miles right around 13:00 min/miles but I finished as a runner and that's what was more important. I was 3 minutes off my PR time from the previous week but I did more walking than this time so I still consider it a victory. My friend Jenn that I work with who herself has lost 130 pounds and is a marathon runner saw us at the beginning (it's her normal trail she runs on and there just so happened to be a race this weekend too so she just did her thing and ran with us part of the way) and waited for me and my crazy pants at the end. She's one of my biggest cheerleaders in all of this and it was so awesome of her to hang out. Along the way I got a sweaty high 5 from Kendra and one from Kelly as well. It was Kelly's first half and she was cruising! I was so proud of her! We'll be seeing each other again in Columbus in 8 short weeks so I'm excited for that! I felt even better knowing especially since we slowed our pace down that I could finish strong and even moreso that I felt like I could have kept going.
Overall the race was good. The bike path was pretty shady and cool. There were ample water stations but I'm still glad I wore my fuel belt to carry my wafers in to munch on since they gave out GU at mile 7 and I don't really like that stuff. The finish had a few muffins and cookies, warm bottles of water and the big coolers of Gatorade but I was starving so we just got out of there.
We came back home and got ourselves together and went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch and I again didn't make awesome choices but I had just burned 2500 calories and ended up burning 4930 for the day according to my Body Media. After lunch we tried to nap but I just couldn't sleep. We ended up spending the evening with my sister and brother-in-law and our niece and nephew. Love, love, love them. We went to a park to play and grilled out for dinner on the patio.
Overall there will be some changes I'm making as I continue with only 8 weeks to go til the main event - my birthday! Just kidding, kind of :)
I'm not going to be following my meal plan. I think I have learned a TON about nutrition and what I need to be successful as far as nutrition goes with losing weight and where my macros need to be in doing that. That being said, I also am realizing what I need to fuel myself for these ever increasing miles I'm putting in as we go through these last 8 weeks of training. I will be incorporating healthy choices with some increased carbs and going from there. I am also going to be reducing my weight training and sticking mainly to my running schedule with a day of cross training and maybe some Zumba thrown in there just because I love it. Not that I don't love my weight training and my trainer, Sara. I do. I just know that I was successful doing that but was not being so successful in my personal life. Kyle is home alone all the time. I work 12+ hours and go to the gym, get home after 10pm and shower and go right back to bed and get up at 4:30 for the next work day. We barely saw each other and he was getting the short end of the stick and that just wasn't fair. It is important to me to continue to lose weight and be healthy but it's also even more important to me to find a balance and that's what the next 8 weeks are about for me. Getting done what I need to and being able to finish these 26.2 miles without dying and maintaining my weight (198.4 on race morning) til then. If I continue to lose and hit my 50 pound mark, great. I will indeed get my tattoo and celebrate that huge accomplishment. As long as I am able to maintain, even better. My end goals have not changed but my short term "what is more important" focus has just a bit. I will continue to work with Sara but am putting marathoning and being a better girlfriend/sister/daughter up higher on the list than working out/running/Lindsay then everything else.
As always I cannot express my gratitude for the overwhelming support I have received. I am forever grateful.
On another note... tonight is my first night on my own out of orientation at work. I'm officially a solo flying ICU nurse!